Beginning of the semester . . .

I apologize for my lack of posting over the last three weeks; the students are back and this is a very busy time of year for all the employees at St. John's.

A quick rundown of the last 2 and a half weeks at work:

Tuesday, Aug. 14--

That morning I met with a friend and we recorded all the parts of the Mass that the priest is supposed to sing. Eventually I'll be handing copies of this recording off to all the priests here so they can practice their parts.

Spent the afternoon furiously preparing for the arrival of my student directors. Our first event was to be a nice dinner with the staff, the RA's, the sacristans, and my choir directors. I was told that the dinner started at 6:00 so that's the time I gave to my choir directors. Of course at 5:27, I was told that dinner actually started at 5:30. Great. Needless to say I was in a crappy mood throughout dinner.


Wednesday, Aug. 15 (Feast of the Assumption)--

Met with the directors all day. Here's the situation: we have 6 musical ensembles at St. John's that provide music for the weekend masses and one during the week. I direct two myself, but I have 4 student directors that work under me that take the other 4 ensembles. We have an intensive 3 days together before the semester starts to do some bonding and training.

We met for morning prayer, had workshops during the morning and afternoon, went to mass at noon, and then did something fun in the evenings. Wednesday night we went back to my house and had pizza and played games. This was one of the few times during those few days that I actually got to spend some time with my wife and kids.


Thursday--

Same as above, but we went to eat at my favorite Mexican restaurant and then went bowling. These evening sessions together are great to build some rapport between the directors and myself. Things are pretty professional during our workshops during the day, but we're able to let our hair down a bit at night.


Friday--

Same as above, but we had a free evening after our busy day.


Saturday--

Move-in Day. Ugh. I was required to be there by 7:30 AM so as to be present when the students and parents started arriving at 8:00. It's a brutal day of small talk and boredom . . . we had our first choir mass that afternoon and I had to fill in for the accompanist. It was a decent temperature in the chapel (rare for August . . . we don't have air conditioning in there) and the small choir (most choristers had not returned yet) did a fine job. A pizza party with staff introductions followed. I didn't get home until around 7:30: a 12-hour day following 3 other 9-12 hour days.


Sunday--

I welcomed a few choir members back to my choir for the 10:30 mass. I dearly love this choir and it was good to see some friendly faces after a long summer. Mass went well with pretty good attendance. Took the rest of the day off (Hallelujah!)


Monday--

Went to the Cubs-Cards game in Chicago with my dad, brother, uncles, and their friend. Rainy day, long drive, late night . . . but we had a great time! (Other than the Cubs losing) Another day away from the kids though . . .


Tuesday--

Busy day at work as it was Quad Day. Quad Day is when all the student organizations across campus put together a booth on the "Quad" and returning students browse around and sign up for various organizations. St. John's has a booth and I had each choir director representing the music ministry for an hour time slot. We had some folks sign up but one of the sheets went missing . . . it still hasn't been found. Fewer things are more frustrating than that; we have a hard enough time competing with other student activities and even other ministries at St. John's without losing names of people that are genuinely interested in our music ministry.

We had a cookout at the rectory that evening to greet new students. Great turnout . . . another 10 hour day for Heath.


Wednesday--

First day of classes when things surprisingly start to slow down a bit. I had my first choir rehearsal that evening. A good returning core, but I need to add some tenors and altos (we lost a few of each to graduation). Here's the difficulty with the beginning of the year in the music wing: we've just lost graduating seniors, so your group is already somewhat depleted after the summer. So, of course, you need to recruit more singers which is hard to do since you're not at full strength and therefore, you don't sound as polished as you'd like. And therefore, people are less inclined to join since they're not hearing a polished product. Throw in the fact that we have brand new inexperienced directors and many other ministries to contend with, and "recruiting week" becomes a tricky time.


Thursday/Friday--

Still keeping my head above water. I'm a technological idiot, and a worship aide I used last year has been passed off to me, using a computer program that I know very little about. I had to get it done by Friday afternoon though so as to have it copied, folded, and ready for Sunday mass.


Saturday--

Cavan's birthday party; a day off for me! So good to see friends and family. Cavan had a great time. Shannon went all out with a dinosaur theme and nearly all the gifts (though we said no gifts!!!!) were dinosaur related. Exhausting day.


Sunday--

Got up at 6:00 AM to do my early mass at a small parish outside of town. Hustled back into town for my choir rehearsal at 9:30 at St. John's. The choir sang beautifully; I'm very blessed to have such talented singers. This was an important Sunday . . . Fr. Greg preached on stewardship (yikes!), encouraging students to share their time, talent, and treasure with us. They then filled out cards showing their interest in various ministries/organizations that we offer here at St. John's. This is where most of our recruits come from . . .

Met with a wedding couple afterwards to plan mass, and then had to put out a fire between two colleagues; a misunderstanding which was easily resolved, but I just wanted to go home!


Monday--

Day off. I needed it.


Tuesday--

A nerve-racking day. I had to crank out another worship aide for the Latin mass that we have on Tuesdays at St. John's. Of course, it uses the same program as the previous one that I'm ignorant about. I had a mishap with it and it wouldn't print anything out for me. I frantically e-mailed some of my computer savvy friends for help until I finally figured it out, just in the nick of time. The biggest blow was the fact that I misplaced the Latin-English missalettes that we used all last year for this mass. I have no idea where they are. We had to use some old ones.

The Gregorian Schola met before mass to prepare for the service. I had 5 singers (including myself) which is not bad for this fledgling group. I think at the most last year we had 7, so we're already headed in the right direction. We sing nothing but Gregorian chant, a genre ever so close to my heart.


Wednesday--

Received the names of people interested in the various St. John's ministries. I had a total of 150 people express interest in the music ministry. That sounds like a lot, but the fact is, only about 10-15 percent of those people will actually participate this year. That's the name of the game . . . anyway, I spent a good part of the afternoon sending out an e-mail to that huge list of people, detailing each ensemble that we have and how they can get involved. Choir rehearsal at night . . . dismayed (but not surprised) to see how many of my choristers are heading home for Labor Day weekend. I'll be down to one soprano! Luckily I planned for just such a situation, as I learned a good lesson from years past. : )


Things will hopefully slow down a bit from here on out. Continue to say some prayers for my sanity!

Chicago Traffic

This last Thursday and Friday, I travelled with my two wee ones up north to Chicagoland. There was a workshop on "Labor Techniques" in Streamwood that I wanted to attend Friday morning. One of my fellow Bradley Method teachers was hosting and I am really glad I went. As a hands-on learner, it was great to see demonstrations and wonderful to try some stuff out myself. I also had a chance to network with some Chicagoland Bradley teachers and put some names to faces, rather than just knowing their email ID. ;)

While we were up there, I was able to obtain much-needed copies of the kids' birth certificates and have lunch with a good friend. I then stopped in Donovan to drop off Molly's birthday gift and hang out with my Uncle Bill and the Schmidt family for awhile. All in all, it was a good trip (minus the times with a screaming, crying Kellyn in the back).

However . . . . if there are ANY times when I am reminded of my gratitude for our move to Champaign, it is most poignant while sitting in Chicago traffic! It took me 1.5 hours to reach the southern suburb of Country Club Hills, where we used to reside. It then took me 1 hour and almost 45 minutes to reach the North end of Chicago to Mundelein where we stayed at a friend's house on Thursday night. So, it took me MORE time to traverse across the span of Chicagoland than it did to get from central Illinois up to Chicagoland in the first place! And the tolls???!! They are now officially ridiculous at 80 cents a pop on 294 and in some areas, more than that. Weren't the tollways originally set up as a way to pay for that highway they were constructing?! Okay. Well, here's a newsflash . . .the highways are done! I understand there is *always* construction and improvements that need to be made to roads and that the money has to come from somewhere, but c'mon people! I really don't know how people in Chicago commute such large distances for work. Sitting in that traffic and paying for the tolls on a very occasional basis is one time too many for me.

I much prefer the smaller city life, where I can get just about anywhere I need to go in 10-15 minutes. You go much past 15 minutes out here and you start hitting cornfields . . .In college, I found that humorous. Now, I find it comforting.

Molly Dolly

Some of you may know more about my recent family situation than others, but I figured I needed to update everyone on our current situation. My 11-year old sister, Molly, was staying at our home for the past two months. She had been with us basically since my dad passed, minus a couple weeks for vacation plans. This proved to be a more trying and sacrificial act than I initially thought. For those of you who have already parented (or are currently parenting) a pre-teen, God bless you! For those of you with pre-teens who are highly energetic and have special needs (given family circumstances, abilities, etc.), God bless you doubly!

Molly falls into both categories and while I love her dearly, it was a struggle to find peace in my days when she was staying with us. Molly has been the youngest in our family for her entire life. So, it was an extremely difficult transition for her to be in our home with two kids aged 3 and just over 1. She was not used to people invading her space or wanting to play with her toys. She was not used to having restrictions on TV and the types of movies she watched. She was not used to having someone who could not help her every minute of the day. She was not used to being a "role model" with little ones looking to her as a model for behavior. And she definitely was not used to the "caretaker" role that an older sibling gets used to pretty quickly. Given all these MAJOR adjustments, Molly did okay. However, that does not mean Heath and I did not have our fair share of battles to diffuse on a DAILY basis....sometimes, it was hourly.

Initially, I was apprehensive about filing a petition for guardianship of Molly. But, at that point in time, there were no other family members who were able to take her on. When someone is in need, you do what has to be done. Period. I knew it would be tough. I knew it would be a big transition for all involved. I knew it would be inconvenient for our household. However, I also knew it was not about *me*. It was about Molly. It was tough for her to not be in the only house she has ever known anymore. It was a big transition to leave her friends. And it was pretty darn inconvenient for her father to die. So, my focus needed to be on this child who needed a safe and stable environment.

After filing a petition, the court appointed an attorney as a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL). Basically, she is Molly's voice in the whole matter since Molly is only 11. She talked to multiple family members, gathered history and pertinent information and through this process, the prospect of my cousin Amy taking Molly arose. Amy has a 12-year old daughter who gets along great with Molly. She also has 5 acres of property with lots of room for a child to roam. She has a pool and a four-wheeler. She has a huge trampoline and best of all, she has various dogs and cats around to keep the kids happy. How can I compete with that?!

Amy called me one afternoon to see if my feelings would be hurt if she also filed a petition for guardianship of Molly. We spoke about the matter and I let her know that no, my feelings would not be hurt. I wanted what was best for Molly. I knew she would be safe and loved in my home, but I did not know how happy she would be. I thought she would probably derive greater happines at Amy's. Plus, she would be able to keep her dog, Blacky, who was a gift from our father last year. Her dog is one of the only remaining links she has to our dad. Unfortunately, Heath has allergies so pets are kind of a dead discussion right now.

The possibility was discussed with Molly, who was practically levitating with the excitement of going to Amy's house! We told her nothing was for sure until the court date.

Fast forward to August 8th, 2007. Our hearing was for 9 am. My mother did show up and was sober. In the end, this was a big blessing because the judge was able to hear firsthand that she could not care for her child at this point in time. The judge "questioned" both Amy and I as witnesses and in the end, temporary guardianship was awarded to Amy. I told him in court that I had no problem with this whatsoever. Going to Amy's would make Molly happier than if she was at our house. So, she is now with my cousin Amy and we have another court date for Oct. 3rd when permanent guardianship will be awarded.

I must say I am relieved and thankful to God. That may sound cold and mean, but I really don't mean it as such. Having Molly here was a huge sacrifice and one that she did not want at all. I know Heath and I have worked hard to create a loving, good, God-respecting household but I cannot MAKE someone be happy here. On one hand, I feel bad. Not necessarily guilty, but bad. Molly felt like this was a prison for her. That makes me feel bad. We do have rules and some structure, but we are FAR from a prison! ;) She had made a couple of comments that were very hurtful and mean, in my opinion, when talking about our house. Heath did a great job on both instances of saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way" because I could not even respond out of being wounded. I mentioned to Heath how I was struggling with these "bad" feelings as I had no other adequate word to describe it and my very wise husband responded with this: (paraphrasing)

"Shannon, there are plenty of other 11-year olds in the world who would probably LOVE to be in our home and who would fit right in. Molly just wasn't one of them. We just weren't a good 'match' for her."

His words have really helped me put a lot into perspective. We all just did not "fit" together well. Given our circumstances, the age of our children, Molly's upbringing and the major loss we are both still raw from feeling, our home was not the puzzle piece Molly needs right now. Could we care for her? Yes. Do we love her? Absolutely! Would it be what is best for her? That's questionable.

I am hoping to find some peace with the situation soon and I know in time, I will get there. I am also hoping to actually begin grieving for my father as this summer has been about settling many other things first. It's surreal to think he passed over two months ago and I still haven't sat down to really, truly and deeply cry for the dad I will miss dearly. I know Molly still has a LONG way to go with her anger and grief too, so please continue to keep us all in your prayers. We are so very grateful for the love and support we have already received!

"Teach me to do your will for you are my God." Psalm 143:10

Happy Birthday, Heath!

Friday was my wonderful husband's 28th birthday. He is getting to be an "old" man, isn't he? ;) Since I had already given him a surprise birthday gift the Friday before, it was a low-key day for us. The previous week I had surprised him with a night away at a local hotel and thanks to the help of his mom, Debby, we pulled it off! We began the evening at Dos Reales (his all-time favorite place to eat) and then I let him know our bags were packed in the trunk and we were getting a night just to ourselves....no kids, no obligations, no stress. At first, he didn't seem to realize that it was happening that night because his reaction was less than stellar. When he realized that I was not kidding and yes, in fact, we were going to the hotel after dinner, he was a little more excited.

I do have to let you know, however, there were many strikes against us during the last couple of days leading up to the surprise. Heath came down with a bad cold, Kellyn was acting like a monster as she was getting over whatever illness she had the previous week, Heath had a wedding rehearsal to run that evening (which he did not inform me of until a few days before the surprise) and a couple more personal things that were not as conveniently timed as they could have been. But we were making the best of it! If for no other reason than Priceline does not allow refunds/exchanges. We did have a great evening, despite those stumbling blocks. We went swimming, sat in the hot tub, watched TV without kids scrambling everywhere and slept in a bed without two little bodies smothering us all night long! It was a nice and much-needed break.

So, for Heath's actual birthday, it was tacos for dinner, framed pictures of the kids for his desk at work and a lazy day of doing next to nothing. We briefly talked about how much more exciting birthdays are when you're young. Heath's comment was true and relatable. He said, "As a kid, I just looked forward to presents. Now, I look forward to some break-time for me." As a parent, your life revolves around your children 24/7. So, it is pretty nice when those periods of respite occur. A friend of mine recently observed that there really is NO other full-time job other than parenting. How very true that is! And I would not want anyone else other than my loving husband to help me get the job done. Happy Birthday, Heath! You are so very loved.

Books

My mother and grandmother came up to visit today which is great for so many reasons. One such reason is their useful function as built-in babysitters, permitting my wife and I to leave our little ones in good hands while we scamper about.

As Shannon had a hippie-mom meeting, I ran off to Borders by myself. I love the atmosphere at these places; tons of great books, relaxed setting, coffee availability, etc. When we're together, we usually take about a half hour to grab a stack of books, then we meet in the cafe area to wade through our pile and just enjoy each other's company in relative silence.

Anyway, here's what I want to say: Are people actually buying some of books that I see on the shelves in Borders? The ones I'm referring to are the $30 hardcover books dealing with a current topic that will become completely irrelevant in a short amount of time. For instance, I saw a biography on Anna Nicole Smith and her untimely death. Now seriously, if someone actually wanted to learn some of these sordid details, wouldn't you just rather save the 30 bucks and check it out from the library? What do you do with this book when you're finished? Put it on your shelf? I feel like most people would be embarrassed to have their guests see it in their collection . . .

Another example would be any of the bazillion books ripping into George Bush. First of all, isn't this market a bit saturated to begin with. Secondly, again, who's putting down good, hard-earned money to read this stuff that will be completely irrelevant in just over a year?

If you're going to spend money on books, invest in some that will actually stand the test of time. A good reference book, a literary classic, a book that you'll read more than once . . . these are much better choices than the latest "Look at What a Great Mother I Am" book by Jenny McCarthy.