Accepting Help

For those of you who know me well, you know I have a very difficult time accepting help (although I am MUCH better than I used to be!) and an even harder time, asking for help. I think much of this is due to my family of origin and how I grew up. As an adult child of an alcoholic, I am accustomed to getting my needs met by myself. This was a helpful behavior as a child because often, I had to take care of myself (and sometimes, younger siblings). However, now that I am a mom of 3 precious babes, this behavior does not serve me so well anymore. In fact, it is frequently harmful, unproductive and downright ridiculous at times. (Imagine a woman w/ baby in sling, one child at each hand, carrying 3 bags over her shoulder, balancing a basket on her head and attempting to push a cart across the lot with her abdomen or hips . . . that exact scenario hasn't happened yet, but it's a possibility!)

All of this is a prelude to a simple story about me accepting help. I know, I know, less talk, more content. ;) This past weekend, I made a shopping trek out to Meijer with Sebastian and Kellyn in tow. I go through the self-checkout there b/c we use our own re-usable bags and that's not easy for a cashier to do when all the service lines are already equipped with the circular, 4 rows of bags, spinny thing that they use. As I began scanning items, a woman approached me and asked if I needed help. I looked around with uncertainty. She was not a Meijer employee and I found it odd that she would just volunteer to help me. I said, "Sure" somewhat cautiously. Then, I spent the entire time at the checkout mentally exploring possibilities of why in the world she would want to help me. Was it a dare? Would she ask for money when she was done? Did I look that pitiful for a random stranger to offer help?!

She filled up my bags with our groceries and stocked them into a new cart. We then proceeded to the van in the parking lot with both carts (Kellyn was still sitting in the one I was pushing). She mentioned something about working in the nail salon there and noticing me with the baby and all those groceries. Since there weren't any customers, she excused herself (with supervisor's permission) and came to help me. What a very sweet, random act of kindness!

I am so thankful for that interaction for a few reasons: 1) It demonstrates that we are still a society that can care enough about one another to reach out and help 2) My acceptance of help is proof to me that I am indeed recovering from hard-to-break dysfunctional habits (Recovery is a life-long process after all!) 3) It was as if God wrapped up this tiny little gift and bestowed it at a time when I truly did need a little help (and here I was thinking of all the negative reasons she was trying to help me!). Learning new habits is challenging, but I am hoping "yes, you can help me" will leave my mouth a little easier.

The one drawback to not packing your own groceries: broken eggs and smooshed bread. No matter. My wonderful husband suggested salvaging the eggs and making omelettes! Where would I be without him?!