More Love

Cheesy title? Yes, but those who know me well, know that I love cheese. I actually used to be a MUCH bigger ball of cheese in my younger days. Anyway...to the point.

Tonight, Heath and I danced. We slow-danced. In our living room, with our children watching. (I know, insert "gag me" motion.) Well, actually, Cavan kept crawling through our legs acting like a puppy dog, but he was intrigued and very observant nonetheless. :) To be honest, I can't remember the last time Heath and I danced in our home with one another. We've danced at weddings, but there is just something soooo comfortable and romantic about dancing with your spouse in your home, around your children....spontaneously. It was very, very nice.

It reminded me of our earlier courtship days...we often slow-danced while dating and frequently held hands, whispering "sweet nothings" about our future together. Once children come along, you find that you have less and less time for these things, as well as the energy to do them. For me, having the energy to do things is the bigger issue. I walk around many days with lots of great intentions for my home and doing things for others (i.e. sending cards, making calls, returning emails...), but the days get away from me much quicker than I anticipate.

I have often heard that life literally flies once children enter into the picture. That seems to be pretty true thus far. I can't believe my first baby is over two years old, with a new vocabulary that is rapidly expanding by the day! And I really can't believe that the little girl I birthed in our home this past May is already 6 months...getting ready to sit up and crawl all on her own. Don't get me wrong, it's exciting to watch some of these changes but each milestone they hit is one more of independence. (I have this constant tug of war inside of me--one side wanting them to be more independent and one side clinging to my babes.) Such is life, I guess. I once heard a quote that goes something to the effect of: each step children take is one more away from you. I just pray I can guide their steps in love and faith.

Now that this post has turned into a rambling about my babies, I will get back to the point. :) Heath and I recently went on a Marriage Enrichment Day at our church. It was a wonderful day and extremely refreshing to have some "mommy and daddy" time! Those events are set up to give couples time to discuss specified topics and thought-provoking questions. One speaker talked about the difference between men and women, how we tend to express ourselves and what we tend to want from our partner. He said women want love and men want respect. At first, I thought that was oversimplifying the issue, but once he spoke in greater depth and gave an actual blow-by-blow description of a conflict that unfolded between a husband and wife, it made a TON of sense to me. He emphasized that husbands usually don't fear their wives do not love them, even in arguments. They KNOW she loves him. But they don't know if she respects him. Vice versa for women. When we are in conflict, we don't know if we are being loved. So the cycle goes round and round and how we intend to express ourselves is sometimes misinterpreted by the other.

The moral of this schpiel? I have come to realize that most days, while I am sure that Heath knows I love him, I fail to use that little bit more energy required to SHOW him my love. I get caught in a daily "mom rut" of meeting all the needs of our children, while struggling to meet my own (i.e. meals, shower, etc.) and frequently failing to meet anything outside of that (i.e. house, Heath, friendships). Mostly because it's tiring to think of using that little bit MORE energy, that little bit more LOVE. That takes more work, right? But Christ has called us all to live life, to live life abundantly and to live life sacrificially for others. When I use more love in my daily actions (even if it requires more of my energy, time and efforts), it is inevitably poured onto my family and friends. THAT is truly living and THAT is truly loving. So, I am setting a goal for myself that I may be more loving to my husband by showing a greater respect for him and what he does for our family. Since love must be in action to be alive, I will make a greater effort to show my love and respect through my daily actions. These may include things like keeping the house a little tidier, not having so much laundry piled up, maybe cooking a little more than usual and one of my all-time favorites, slow-dancing in our living room.