Happy Birthday, Kellyn!

One year ago, I was awaking in bed to find my in-laws had arrived to meet their first granddaughter.

One year ago, I was still sleepy with the dream that I had, in fact, birthed my daughter vaginally.

One year ago, she was stirring softly next to me with that sweet newborn sound, letting her mama know she was hungry again.

One year ago, I was marvelling the fact that my daughter entered this world in the comfort of our home, in complete juxtaposition to how myson came into this world.

One year ago, I was amazed at how my body pushed my baby girl out and left me breathless.

One year ago, I was only beginning to deal with the fact that I had torn and my bottom was the sorest it has ever been.

One year ago, I smiled victoriously like a child winning a hard-fought game, thinking of my son's OB and the cesarean she had given me.

One year ago, I feared how this new world of "tandem nursing" was going to work. (Turns out my fear was mildly justified, especially in the beginning!)

One year ago, I was in awe of my husband's love for me and how his unfailing support held me up in the toughest moments of labor. He never doubted my ability to birth and that meant the world to me.

One year ago, I realized the full impact of how my body would NEVER be the same, mourning that loss and wondering if my body really did know how to heal itself.

One year ago, I began to taste the mental and emotional healing from her birth, which didn't make my son's birth "okay" but gave me insight into how strong I am.

One year ago, my little girl came barreling into this world like a torpedo shooting out of its holster. While definitely NOT ideal for a woman's perineum, it already speaks of her personality (which seemsto show a flair for drama even at this young age!). She has changedmy fears, beliefs and trust in the birth process itself. She hasgiven me the gift of healing and in turn, I pray I may give her the gift of wonderful beginnings.

Shannon