Finding Peace

As a mom, it is sometimes difficult to find peace in your day. There are children to protect, entertain and intrigue to learning. There are daily household tasks to be accomplished (which are usually the first things to go when I am having a rough day). There are phone calls to return and emails to send. There are meals to be prepared and "ouchies" to be kissed. There are adult friendships to nurture and parenting choices to be made. How does one find peace in such chaos?

Recently, I made a journal entry verifying my need to find more peace in my days and let go of some of my insanity. I was getting to place in daily living filled with negativity and stress. My previously average-normal days had become mostly bad days and my previously "bad" days had become REALLY awful days. I wasn't happy, the kids weren't happy and daddy could see how miserable everyone was when he returned home in the evenings. And who wants to come home to misery?

So, here is my list of ways to take charge of our days and find peace. I am learning, incidentally, that it is not something you stumble upon and discover by chance. Finding peace really refers to actively choosing peace over discord, saying yes to love and no to anger, grabbing hold of calm and letting go of insanity.

Here are my steps to hopefully ease some daily stress:
1) Spending more time in Eucharistic Adoration and dedicated prayer time. (Hint: when you have to stop and think about the last time you purposely made time for Jesus, your life is already out of control!) I am always amazed at what time with our Lord, in His Real Presence does for my body, mind and soul. Then I always kick myself for slacking on this vital part of my life. When Jesus is not in the picture, my life is a mess. It's like that bumper sticker -- "No Jesus, No Peace. Know Jesus, Know Peace." Somewhat cheesy, but true.

2) Daily Goals with 3 REALISTIC expectations of completion. This does NOT mean:
#1. Cleaning the entire kitchen #2. Sanding and sealing the fence #3. Ironing the children's wardrobe. It means: #1. Wipe the kitchen counters #2. Sweeping sand off the deck #3. Doing one load of laundry. There is a big difference in my stress levels when I heap huge expectations and when I plan "baby steps" for household tasks. I do MUCH better with the small steps. A professor in grad school used to say that our "To Do" lists will NEVER get any shorter, so if you only cross off 2-3 things each day, consider that a success!

3) Walking or biking 2-3 times per week to get out of the house and BE ACTIVE! Now, I have never been a huge exercise person, but I do find that on days when we go for family walks, I feel better, I'm less stressed and everyone is a little more "ready" for bed at night. ;)

4) Making an effort to just BE and play with my kids in smaller, 10-15 minute intervals. My problem is that I am always thinking about what else I need to do, so as soon as I get the kids settled into an activity, I will get up and try to accomplish just *one more task* (e.g. loading dishes, cleaning a diaper, returning an email, etc.). Then, inevitably, one of my darlings will start whining (or shrieking in despair) and I have to come running back to where they are. At this point, I'm annoyed that I was interrupted and they are sad/angry/hurt over what transpired when I was not in the room. So, I sit down to play for a few minutes until they are content and then try to sneak off again in pursuit of completion. However, the cycle begins again with crying or unhappy noises. The end result??? NOTHING gets done and neither myself nor Cavan and Kellyn are happy! How is that good?

I find that if I just spend time with them . . . giving my FULL, undivided attention in a structured activity, they are then much more agreeable to let me get up and finish making dinner for 15-20 minutes. When I let go of my internal list of tasks, and just ENJOY them, I am a happier mama and they are much more content. Now I just have to remember to do this, without getting caught up in the busy, chaotic cycle.

You always read quotes and hear people tell you about how you should just cherish/enjoy/love your children because they will be grown before you know it. In these moments . . . in our current days, it is often hard to remember those words of wisdom. After all, it is difficult to see the outside world when you're drowning in the fishbowl. But those words of wisdom are exactly that . . . spoken from more experienced, wiser hearts and I pray that my heart takes heed.