Forcing Solutions

Just wanted to share an "aha!" moment I had with Kellyn a few weeks ago . . .

We were at the Urbana Library and Kellyn was playing with a dinosaur peg puzzle. Whenever she went to place one in its appropriate opening, it was just a little off. (She is only 20 months old, right?) It was either too high, too low, too left or too right. I observed how she responded to the situation. Each and every time, she would simultaneously 1) SCREAM and 2) push harder (as if that would make the piece fit). I sat back and thought, "Sweetie, that is not going to make it happen."

But it occurred to me how similarly *I* react when I face a challenge in life that I cannot solve. When I can't fix something or get immediate results or change an outcome, I too 1) SCREAM and 2) push harder. Much of this is, of course, in a figurative sense. However, sometimes the screaming is in a very real and literal sense. For instance, when I am trying to get somewhere with the kids and we are slow-moving in getting out of the house, my volume level begins to increase. As if talking louder but using the same words is going to derive a different result. Sometimes, my screaming and pushing are purely in the internal sense where I start shifting into hyperdrive and my stress levels are increasing in response to my need to control how things are happening and how quickly they are getting done. I do have to laugh at myself because I often get flustered at the amount of time it takes my children to do things. (HELLO!! They're preschoolers!) Yes, I know they are under the age of 4, but that doesn't stop my compulsive need to have things happen NOW. ;)

Like Kellyn, I try to force solutions. Sometimes by screaming and sometimes by pushing harder. What I have learned and what I know to be true is that those behaviors do NOT produce results. So, why on earth do I keep doing them?! (Think of that familiar definition of "insanity". . .) Well, quite simply (and inexcusably), because old habits are hard to break.

I am praying for a change in my dysfunctional thinking. I am praying for the strength to change unhealthy behaviors. I am praying for the openness to learn all that my children have to teach me. Most of all, I am praying that they don't repeat the dysfunctional cycles I have carried with me.

We cannot force anything in life . . . solutions, change, people, predicaments . . . because we are NOT in control. (As much as I like to fool myself into believing I am, I know full well I am not.) All we are in control of is how we react to life. This year, I would like to react with a little more joy and a little less force. Lord, give me a heart of joy and a spirit willing to do the work you have set before me.

Morber Quotables

Yeah, yeah . . . I know, I'm the delinquent poster. I wish I could say I'll repent, but I don't think that is very likely. So, since my husband has the last 5-6 postings without a peep from me, I thought I would just slip in some cute quotable moments from our house lately.

1) Miss Kellyn has such a great vocabulary, especially when comparing her to words that Cavan used at the same age (which was very little. He was, however, a stellar one with sign language!). My current favorite is her pronunciation of "finger". It rhymes with "suck-er" and starts with an "f". The best is when she holds up her index finger, pointing at you while she says it over and over and over . . . yes, I'm juvenile but I find it HI-larious! ;)

2) Heath and I were hugging in the living room the other day and Cavan kept trying to get his attention. This is not an unusual scenario. We go through this many times a day, which is why the majority of our conversations are carried through multiple sessions. (It's a wonder we have *any* communication at all some days!) So, Cavan is saying, "Dad . . . Daaad . . . Daaaaad-ddyyyy . . ." Heath responds by saying, "Hold on, buddy, I am trying to hug your mom." Cavan retorts in a deliberate manner: "But -- it's -- called -- a -- famuhwee." (Transaltion: But it's called a family.) I thought it was very cute that he was trying to make his dad aware of the fact that we're all in this together. ;) Alone time??? What the heck does that mean?

3) I can't remember if I posted this awhile back or not, but it's funny enough that it is worth repeating. One day, Mama Morber was moving about the front room, picking up various toys and doing some general cleaning. Cavan comes in the room and says, "Who-body coming to our house?" We can all see what he associates mom's cleaning with. ;)

Okay, that's all I have for now. I will try to get another one in before next Friday, but my Bradley final is due next week and I am not making any promises. It is a MONSTER in length!!!

Roe v. Wade

Today is the 35th anniversary of that infamous decision. Over 40 million lives have been needlessly lost since then. Many more will follow until people of good will take society to task for it's stance on the unborn.

I posted this entry about a year ago.

Fiction vs. Non-Fiction

As a wee lad, I spent countless hours reading fiction. I enjoyed some fantasy novels such as "The Chronicles of Narnia" and the "Black Cauldron" series. "Choose Your Own Adventure" was a favorite series of mine, as was anything concerning baseball. In junior high and high school, I was able to pick up more of the "classics": "The Old Man and the Sea", "Pride and Prejudice", "The Catcher in the Rye", etc.

In college, there wasn't much time to do reading outside of what's assigned for each of my classes. "War and Peace" had to give way to the "Norton Anthology of Western Music." Once I finished school, I rarely read much fiction anymore.

I did, however, read quite a bit of non-fiction, and I still do. As I became more interested in my Catholic faith after we were married, I devoured numerous volumes dealing with church issues. To further my professional career, I also read about more focused topics on music, specifically Gregorian chant and music of the Renaissance era (two of my great loves).

There is other stuff, of course, but what I've noticed is that I can hardly trudge through any fiction anymore. I forced myself last summer to read "The Great Gatsby", but that's been about it. I tried reading "No Country for Old Men" a couple weeks ago, as I greatly enjoyed the movie, but I only got through a chapter before I was bored with it. The same with a book called, "In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash" which the movie, "A Christmas Story" was based on (one of our favorites). After pages and pages of descriptive language, I finally thought to myself, "Geez, just get to the point!"

I don't have any extensive theories to why I am this way now, but a few popped into my mind recently:

1) With a job and a family, I don't have much time to read, so when I do read, I want it to be "productive", that is, something that will further my quest for knowledge. This can be done with fiction, but in a round-about way.

2) I get my fill of fiction through movies. Nearly all of my television-watching is on fictional topics (minus sports), and it seems a better use of time to get through a novel-turned-movie in two hours or less than to commit 10+ hours to get through the novel itself.

I wish I wasn't this way. I'd love to be able to immerse myself in a good novel, curled up on the couch with a glass of wine, but I just don't have it in me anymore. One source of hope: I'm sure I'll be forced to read some stories when my children are a bit older. Maybe I can also force myself to enjoy them!

Happenings

Here's what's going on with the Morbers . . .

1) Shannon started a new round of Bradley classes last week. Only two couples this time, but she couldn't afford to wait much longer for new ones to join as these two moms are due pretty soon (one may not even make it through the whole session). Get this: both fathers are chiropractors, to go along with one of Shan's students in her previous class who was also a chiropractor. The only conclusion is that chiropractors love natural-child-birth!

2) Shan also pseudo-started at Carle hospital last week. She did some training days last week and 3 days of shadowing this week. She's almost ready to swim on her own; turns out she'll have to work one Saturday a month. Ugh.

3) This last summer we had a St. John's choir alumni weekend. The CD that was recorded during it is almost finished. The insert was finalized today, and will be going to the printers tomorrow. Once I burn an intial 200 copies or so, and stuff all the cases, they'll be ready for distribution! So this is two recordings from my "department" (which consists, basically of me and me) in the last year. I've learned a good lesson.

4) Kids are fine. We absolutely can't shut Kellyn up; she's jabbering all the time, with about 10 percent of what she says being distinguishable. Cavan's in dire need of a haircut.

Medical Myths

Happy New Year! Sorry for the absence; after my crazy November/early December, I get real lazy!

Here's an interesting Yahoo article that I found (click here to read the whole thing):

Myth: We use only 10 percent of our brains.

Fact: Physicians and comedians alike, including Jerry Seinfeld, love to cite this one. It's sometimes erroneously credited to Albert Einstein. But MRI scans, PET scans and other imaging studies show no dormant areas of the brain, and even viewing individual neurons or cells reveals no inactive areas, the new paper points out. Metabolic studies of how brain cells process chemicals show no nonfunctioning areas. The myth probably originated with self-improvement hucksters in the early 1900s who wanted to convince people that they had yet not reached their full potential, Carroll figures. It also doesn't jibe with the fact that our other organs run at full tilt.

Myth: You should drink at least eight glasses of water a day.

Fact: "There is no medical evidence to suggest that you need that much water," said Dr. Rachel Vreeman, a pediatrics research fellow at the university and co-author of the journal article. Vreeman thinks this myth can be traced back to a 1945 recommendation from the Nutrition Council that a person consume the equivalent of 8 glasses (64 ounces) of fluid a day. Over the years, "fluid" turned to water. But fruits and vegetables, plus coffee and other liquids, count.

Myth: Fingernails and hair grow after death.

Fact: Most physicians queried on this one initially thought it was true. Upon further reflection, they realized it's impossible. Here's what happens: "As the body’s skin is drying out, soft tissue, especially skin, is retracting," Vreeman said. "The nails appear much more prominent as the skin dries out. The same is true, but less obvious, with hair. As the skin is shrinking back, the hair looks more prominent or sticks up a bit."

Myth: Shaved hair grows back faster, coarser and darker.

Fact: A 1928 clinical trial compared hair growth in shaved patches to growth in non-shaved patches. The hair which replaced the shaved hair was no darker or thicker, and did not grow in faster. More recent studies have confirmed that one. Here's the deal: When hair first comes in after being shaved, it grows with a blunt edge on top, Carroll and Vreeman explain. Over time, the blunt edge gets worn so it may seem thicker than it actually is. Hair that's just emerging can be darker too, because it hasn't been bleached by the sun.

Myth: Reading in dim light ruins your eyesight.

Fact: The researchers found no evidence that reading in dim light causes permanent eye damage. It can cause eye strain and temporarily decreased acuity, which subsides after rest.

Myth: Eating turkey makes you drowsy.

Fact: Even Carroll and Vreeman believed this one until they researched it. The thing is, a chemical in turkey called tryptophan is known to cause drowsiness. But turkey doesn't contain any more of it than does chicken or beef. This myth is fueled by the fact that turkey is often eaten with a colossal holiday meal, often accompanied by alcohol — both things that will make you sleepy.

Myth: Mobile phones are dangerous in hospitals.

Fact: There are no known cases of death related to this one. Cases of less-serious interference with hospital devices seem to be largely anecdotal, the researchers found. In one real study, mobile phones were found to interfere with 4 percent of devices, but only when the phone was within 3 feet of the device. A more recent study, this year, found no interference in 300 tests in 75 treatment rooms. To the contrary, when doctors use mobile phones, the improved communication means they make fewer mistakes.