"I Help"

Shortly after his second birthday, Cavan hit a huge language milestone---that of putting two words together in phrases! As a speech-language pathologist, I was patiently waiting its debut. Female counterparts of Cavan's age had been running circles around him verbally (which is common for girls), so I was one proud mama when he began saying things like "juice please" or "mo' chik" (for "more chicken"). I can't say I was ever worried about his language development. Nonetheless, it is a bit disconcerting when friends' daughters were requesting food items in elaborate sentences and using appropriate manners to do so while our son was pointing and saying "ba" for ball.

Currently, it seems as if Cavan acquires new words daily (even ones you would rather not have him repeat). Honestly, I seldom swear...but leave it to a developing mind to repeat the one word you don't want him to and NOT repeat the many words you have asked him to say. Personally, I think it is because "shhh" is such a fun noise to produce. :) Some words that he now uses often include various animal noises (you have to hear them to believe them), "hi" (for hide), "nee" (for green), "bwee" (for please), "wewew" (for welcome), "awn" (for orange), "mo" (for more, milk, nose, snow and no...yeah, talk about confusing), "see" (for see, sing, sit, seat, ceiling, sick) and one of my favorites, "shar" (for shark). For our son, it is not just enough to talk about sharks. We also have to BE sharks. Cavan loves to run around, bearing his teeth, snapping his jaws, growling and chasing his parents as a ferocious shark. For his parents, it is a fun game for the first five minutes. ;) Sometimes, he will also throw in the phrase "shar bye, shar bye" which means "sharks bite". (As if we couldn't figure that out from his game, right?)

In addition to his verbal expansion, his eagerness to help has also grown by leaps and bounds in the past few months! Whenever I begin any task (e.g. laundry, dishes, picking up, watering plants), he usually comes running over exclaiming "I howp! I howp!". His "help" sounds more like some sort of mini-dog yelp, but it is oh so endearing. Often, his "help" hinders his mom more than anything. (Envision climbing up a flight of stairs with a toddler holding one end of a very full laundry basket or trying to sweep up a dirt pile that little feet keep cutting through.) But he gets so excited about helping me, about doing his part in a chore...how can a mother refuse?! I don't want to discourage such positive behavior so early. Yes, it would go much quicker if I do it myself, but it probably would not be nearly as enjoyable. If I'm lucky, maybe this willingness to help around the house will last through puberty...if not, at least I should do my part to promote his good community behavior while it is present.

There are some tasks where Cavan actually IS a big help to me, including filling up our bird feeder, sorting diapers, picking up toys, putting away tupperware and watering plants. Recently, he has also shown interest in helping change the baby's diaper. As long as it isn't dirty, that goes smoothly as well. I've recently pondered if God in all his wisdom has sent me this beautiful child to help unravel yet another personal stumbling block of mine...control. I would not categorize myself as a "control-freak", but I will admit I am a closet coveter of control. It has always been easier to do things myself rather than ask someone else to complete the task. That way, I know a) it's done right and b) that it will actually get done. Once children come along, your ability to control daily life slips away like grains of sand falling out of your tightly clutched hand. Humility goes hand-in-hand with relinquishing control. Because for me, asking for help does not come easily. Nor does accepting it for that matter. Realizing I could use help is never the issue. The issue has always been asking and accepting. (I never expected my 2-year old to be helping me with this issue!) I guess with Cavan's daily offers to help, God keeps tapping me on the shoulder...whispering "let go, just let go". Now, it's up to me to work on opening my own hands, letting the sand fall out and accepting help...even if it is coming from smaller and younger hands.