Reflections on mortality

I'm going in for surgery tomorrow morning, a procedure to remove these damned polyps from my sinuses that make smelling and nasal breathing an elusive luxury. I've had the procedure done twice in the past, once 12 years ago and another round 10 years ago. They came back with a vengeance last November, and they need to come out.

The build up has almost been unbearable; I've been thinking about it non-stop and I'm surprised to find myself pretty anxious about the whole thing.

Now, here's the set-up: I'll go in, go under general anesthesia, they'll root around in my nose, pulling out all the polyps and other obstructions, I'll come out groggy, and then go home to recover for a week or so. No big deal, right?

Well, what has me worried are the potential risks . . . the sinuses that they'll be working are located pretty durn close to my brain and eyes, so in addition to the risk involved with anesthesia, there's also a chance of brain damage, blindness, even death.

Now, the odds of any of these happening are very remote, and I think there's a 99.999% chance that everything will go smoothly . . . but it's that .001% that has me thinking.

I've certainly not thought much about death in my 30 years up until about a week ago.

(OK, I've decided to not write anymore as this is just going to freak me out even more. In conclusion, please pray for my surgery and the recovery. And if I pass (God forbid), I don't want to hear "On Eagle's Wings" at my funeral!!! Shan, call Nick Haggin and tell him I want the Gregorian chant propers for the Mass.)


UPDATE (Post-Surgery): OK, I'm fine. Let's forget this post ever happened. I'll reflect on death some other time.